The Tears of a Prince
by hpfangirl1
Summary: Warning: Deathly Hallows spoilers! This story is what was running through Severus Snape's mind when he was talking to Voldemort the night of his death. His love for Lily and his duty to protect her son. Please read. One-shot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series (including the dialogue in the story below). The characters, dialogue, the entire Harry Potter series belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

**Author's Note: This is my view of what Severus Snape thought the night of his death. What he thought as he was speaking to his Dark Lord, to his enemy. Anways, I hope you like it and please review! P.S. This contains Deathly Hallow Spoilers!**

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Severus Snape looked at the man before him.

"…my Lord, their resistance is crumbling," He spoke humbly, with a controlled tone of voice. However, inside he felt nauseous. _My Lord, _He spat to himself, _My Lord who killed my Lily. _His eyes burned with hatred and he cast his glance away from Voldemort. _He's pathetic, _Snape continued to rant to himself, _Depending on fragments of his soul. He's the ugliest thing I've ever seen. How dare he kill Lily? How dare he kill the only girl I've cared about, the only girl I had vowed to protect. Yet in the end, it was I who betrayed her. Me. I'm no better than him, Voldemort. He betrays his own kind, half bloods, and I betray my own love. _Buried in self disgust, Severus lifted his head and stared into his boss' red eyes, using all his strength in using the Occlumency he had worked so hard to master.

"─and it is doing so without your help," Voldemort was still speaking to him, "Skilled wizard though you are, Severus…"

_Yes, skill. _Snape scoffed, _Enough skill to get my only love killed. Enough skill to make me a traitor. _He listened half-mindedly to what Voldemort had to say. _So he wants to kill me now. It doesn't matter. I have been dead ever since Lily was murdered. At least as close to death as a live person could get. My heart has been dead, and when one's heart is dead, they're done. Nothing's worth living for anymore… Nothing… except… _

Dumbledore's words rang in his head, "Protect Lily's son."

_I must. I must make it up to Lily. I must protect Harry. That's the only thing, the only goal I have to keep myself alive all these years. I must protect Harry Potter… _Putting as much pleading as he could in his voice, Snape continued, "Let me find the boy. Let me bring you Potter. I know I can find him, my Lord. Please." _Yes, I'll find him and put him in a safe haven. Then I can die without regret. _He walked briskly away, prepared to look for the Potter boy.

"I have a problem, Severus."

Snape stopped at his master's voice, "My Lord?" He forced down another wave of nausea, of disgust, as those words passed his lips. He turned to find Voldemort with the Eldar Wand pointing towards him.

"Why doesn't it work for me, Severus?"

Snape felt his mind go blank. _Why is he asking this question? Did I make a mistake?_

"My Lord? I do not understand. You have performed extraordinary magic with that wand."

"No. I have performed my usual magic. I am extraordinary…"

_Yeah right, _Severus thought as he listened to Voldemort speak in his high voice, _Extraordinary at what? At killing? I would hardly count that was extraordinary. Perhaps cruel, cold, heartless. _

"No difference." Voldemort repeated himself, irritating Snape slightly. _I heard you the first time. Will you go straight the point, now? I'm tired of waiting. I waited for Lily all those years, and in the end, she chose Potter. I waited to get revenge all this time, and yet it hasn't happened. I'm sick of waiting. _His eyes shifted to Nagini, coiled and sleek in her magical cage. Her emotionless eyes boring into Snape's black ones. He wanted her to strike, to end his life; to end his guilt and pain. _No. _Snape mentally shook himself, _I need to save Harry. I owe this to Lily. I owe much more, but that is all I can do now. If I can even complete that task. _He tuned back in to hear Voldemort ask him if he knew why he was called back from battle.

"No, my Lord, but I beg you will let me return. Let me find Potter." The words slid easily off Snape's tongue, and tears began to sting his eyes as he mentioned Potter. He hated that thought that he was protecting the son of James Potter, yet at the same time felt honored that the boy he was guarding was Lily Evan's only son. He held his tears back and forced himself to look into Voldemort's flat eyes without gagging.

"You sound like Lucius. Neither of you understands Potter as I do…"

Flames of anger licked at Snape when he heard those words. _Don't compare me to Lucius. I'm not as much of a traitor, a coward as he is. And you think you know Potter more than me? He's just like his father, and I had to suffer the unpleasant experience of sharing the same teenage years with his father. Now I'm stuck with him in my classes. Don't you, my Lord_, he sneered to himself, _tell me you know him better. _

"…He will come." Voldemort finished his rant.

Snape tried his best not to clench his teeth as he spoke, "But my Lord, he might be killed accidentally by one other than yourself─" He needed to buy time, time to warn Harry.

"My instructions to my Death Eaters have been perfectly clear. Capture Potter. Kill his friends─ the more, the better─ but do not kill him. But it is of you that I wished to speak, Severus, not Harry Potter. You have been very valuable to me. Very valuable."

Snape's heart clenched at what Voldemort had to say. He hoped that the Death Eaters were not able to get to that Granger girl. _Something in her reminds me so much of Lily. I enjoyed her presence because of that, yet I hated her at the same time. She was a reminder of a girl, a woman, I had betrayed. I hated her for reminding me of my loss, of my cruelty. But then again, I enjoyed her. She was a reminder of Lily. She had the same bossy tone, cleverness, willingness to help the weaker ones, keeping them from being bullied. But just like Lily, she could be cold and icy if someone had offended her. Draco Malfoy had called her mudblood, always picking on her and her friends. Because of that, she loathed him, wouldn't talk to him. Just like how… How Lily ignored me after I made the grave mistake of calling her a mudblood. _A tear welled up in Snape's black eyes and he forced it away, _Lily, if I had done something different, would you have picked me instead of Potter? _Remembering suddenly that he had to reply to Voldemort, he spoke.

"My Lord knows I seek only to serve him. But─ let me go and find the boy, my Lord. Let me bring him to you. I know I can─"

Voldemort replied angrily, "I have told you, no! My concern at the moment, Severus, is what will happen when I finally meet the boy!"

Snape felt lost once more, "My Lord, there can be no question, surely─?" Voldemort followed by asking why his wands have failed when used against Harry Potter. Snape couldn't find an answer for that question. _What is he playing at? _For once in his life, he could not understand his Dark Lord's intentions.

"My wand of yew did everything of which I asked it, Severus, except to kill Harry Potter. Twice it failed. Ollivander told me under torture of the twin cores, told me to take another's wand. I did so, but Lucius's wand shattered upon meeting Potter's." Voldemort began to sound aggravated.

"I─I have no explanation, my Lord." Snape turned his attention back to the snake, realization dawning onto him. _So he still wants to kill me. Most likely with Nagini. She's perhaps the only thing he's learned to cherish, and he greatly enjoys feeding her live men. Okay, if he wants to kill me… I'll let him. I deserve it anyways, but… I need to save Harry. I need to. I need to save Lily Evans' only son, the son she died protecting. _His expression went blank. _After that, I'll gladly let him kill me. I can finally rest, finally punished for what I had done to Lily. _Deep in his thoughts, he had missed what Voldemort said. So he replied with what he had in his mind, not caring if it wasn't the right reply to what Voldemort had said.

Looking at his master, he protested, "My Lord ─ let me go to the boy ─"

"All this long night, when I am on the brink of victory, I have sat here," said Voldemort, his voice barely louder than a whisper, "wondering, wondering, why the Eldar Wand refuses to be what it ought to be, refuses to perform as legend says it must perform for its rightful owner… and I think I have the answer."

_I do too. _Snape thought, _Because of me. Because I was the one to kill Dumbledore. But I'm not the owner of the Eldar Wand either. It was Draco Malfoy. He was the last one to disarm the Headmaster. I had only fulfilled the wish that Dumbledore had requested of me. I, in no way, overcame him. _But he could not tell this to Voldemort.

"Perhaps you already know it? You are a clever man, after all, Severus. You have been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must happen."

_Servant? _Snape thought with venom, _I am not servant of yours, _Voldemort. _Faithful? I am in no way faithful. _He was sick of this hiding. _I'm going to die anyways, and so I'm going to die letting you know what the truth is. I'm going to inform you of how me, the clever man, tricked and lied to you, the Dark Lord. I'm going to feel triumphant as I boast to you about how you were deceived, despite all you say about no one being able to do that. _

"My Lord ─" _Perhaps I'll give you a last bit of respect, _Snape thought, but was cut off before he could finish.

"The Eldar Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Eldar Wand Belongs to the wizrd who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Eldar Wand cannot be truly mine." Voldemort spoke with no expression.

"My Lord!" Snape felt like spitting in his face. _Let me tell you what I have to say! _But Voldemort spoke over him once more.

"It cannot be any other way," said Voldemort. "I must master the wand, Severus, Master the wand, and I master Potter at last." He whipped his wand through the air. Nothing changed in the room.

_Am I free? Why hasn't he hit me with the Avada Kedavra? _Snape felt a small sense of relief. Then he realized what Voldemort had done. Uttering a yell, the snake's cage fell onto his shoulders. Voldemort hissed something and the snake struck. Snape screamed as a pain beyond no other hit him in full force. _I have failed, Lily. I'm sorry. _He collapsed onto the floor. Lost in despair, he didn't hear nor notice Voldemort lifting the cage off him and leaving. The countless tears he had been holding back had finally burst free, running down his cheeks and mingling with the blood spurting from his wounded neck. _Lily…_He thought over and over again as he gripped his neck with his hands, feeling his life slip away through his fingers. Raising his head, he saw Harry Potter looking down at him. Suddenly knowing what to do, he released all his memories, letting them spew out wildly. Reaching a hand up, he grabbed Harry's robes and pulled him close.

"Take… it… Take… it…" He was conscious of the fact that he could no longer speak clearly and could only hope Harry understood him. He looked behind the boy and saw Hermione Granger conjure a flask out. _She was always a smart girl, just like Lily. _Snape couldn't help but feel a little pride as he watched Harry lift his memories into the flask. _Lily Evans. _Snape felt relief wash over him. He was finally going to rest, after all the guilt he had endured. He was finally going to get what he deserved. Perhaps along the way, he was going to meet Lily. And maybe, a beacon of hope shone through the black that was beginning to enclose him, she would forgive him. She would see all that he had tried to do to make it up to her, make it up to the time he called her mudblood, make it up to the fact that he had helped murder her. Using his hand not holding Harry, he reached into his robes and clenched the paper. The second page of the letter he had taken from the Grimauld place. The only concrete thing he had left of her. The only thing he owned that contained her love. …_But in case I don't see her. I… I need to see her eyes. Just once more… _

"Look… at… me…" Snape used all his strength in speaking those words. A pair of green eyes, Lily's beautiful green eyes met his. Joy filled Snape's empty heart. _Lily… I love you._ A single tear, his last glistening tear, slid slowly down his cheek. He felt his hand loosen and he fell away. Away from the boy who had the face of a man he loathed; away from the boy who bore the eyes of the only girl he had loved.


End file.
